Eggplant

So, Mike and I were sitting outside the bar last week, minding our own business, sipping our cappuccinos and reading the paper, when a truck with a loud-speaker announcing a great deal came driving up the street. The great deal? Crates of peppers, peaches, melons and eggplants at ridiculously low prices. Mike: Let's get some eggplant. It's too cheap to pass up. Me: A whole case? Are you crazy? There's only two of us! Mike: But it's such good eggplant. Look....no seeds at all. Me: Are you crazy? Mike: We can share it with the neighbors. They'll be happy. Me: Are you crazy?
Long story short, Mike wins, buys a crate of eggplant for three euros and we trudge home. We give five to Mariarosa and five to Bianchina. We haven't made a dent in the crate. I start contemplating my fate and it ain't pretty.
Seven days later: my hands are stained an ugly purple-brown. My arthritis is acting up because of the peeling, chopping and stirring. We have had eggplant parmigiano, eggplant ai fungiatelli, stuffed eggplant, indorato e fritto eggplant, eggplant pasta sauce. There is eggplant in the fridge and eggplant in the freezer. I have made pickled eggplant sott'olio....a gallon jar of it!
In the hottest weather of the summer, with nary a breeze to cool us off, I have peeled, chopped, fried and boiled the entire case of eggplant. Today, as I made it down to the bottom of the crate, I actually celebrated when I found some rotten little buggers that had to be thrown out! Yeah!
Now....we start on the peppers!
Help!!!